Ugh. Not Again.

This is not what I had been planning to write about in this edition of Reading Between the Lines.

I had intended to answer a question posed by a member of the audience in a recent talk. The question was about whether micro-managers have empathy. It’s a good question with a nuanced answer.

It will have to wait till next time.

Over the past week I’ve been reaching out to friends, clients and colleagues in the Twin Cities. My intention was to check in, see how they are dealing with all of the activities of ICE and offer support or at least a supportive ear. Everyone has been unsettled and concerned, looking for what they can do to get involved while staying safe. The murder of Renee Good, the treatment of 5-year old Liam, and the general abusive behavior of ICE agents weighs heavily.

Work, I heard, is a welcome distraction and also hard to focus on.

And then on Saturday, Alex Pretti was murdered. There are no words to adequately describe the feelings on watching the video captured by bystanders. Analysis of the videos by CNN and other outlets is showing that Pretti was unarmed when he was shot (9+ times?) by ICE agents.

But in today’s world of fragmented media, this is not the story that everyone is hearing. This article in the New York Times reports on how Fox News was supporting the administration’s “official” account of what happened.

Like the death of Renee Good, this video of Alex Pretti being shot has been seen far and wide.

As we return to work on Monday, leaders in organizations will be faced with a team needing to be met where they are. This will require listening and a willingness to be vulnerable in person and in communication to both understand where and how to show up.

Something to keep in mind: While nearly 2/3 of US adults disapprove of how ICE is doing its job, that still leaves 1/3 approving. This means that not everyone in your office may feel it was unjustified violence, some will believe what Fox News and the administration is saying.

Additionally, not everyone will want to engage in a discussion, because they don’t want to bring current events into the workplace

But a majority are feeling it, so here are 3 suggestions to consider.

1 – Do what feels right. 
Last week, I was having a conversation with a c-suite executive at a national retail chain. They had experienced ICE raiding one of their stores and a couple of their employees were detained as a result. Leadership decided they “had to do what was right”, which included engaging lawyers to help the employees regain their freedom; communicate support to the rest of the employees at the affected stores and explain the actions that were being taken as well as reaffirm their commitment to a diverse workforce and customer base.  Apparently these messages and actions were very well received. This retailer just enhanced the dedication and loyalty of their workforce, simply because they did what felt like the right thing to do – aid their employees in crisis and inform the rest of the team of their actions to reassure them and help people feel safe and secure in their workplace.

As you face talking with your team this week, listen to your heart and follow your instinct for what feels like the right thing to do or say. This isn’t over-empathizing; this is just being human.  

Potential openers to might be: “How are you doing with the shooting in Minneapolis this weekend?” or “It was a pretty intense weekend with the news out of Minneapolis and dealing with the storm. How are you holding up?” 

2 – Create space for people to step in if they so desire.
Not everyone will want to participate but this moment feels very similar to late spring 2020, after the murder of George Floyd, when protests erupted around the country and many white people were made aware of the racism that persists in the US.

When I was leading Ignite 360 at this time, we started a virtual coffee talk. Thirty minutes, once a week, for those who wanted to and were available to get together and talk about what was going on. Those sessions continued for three years as we came to appreciate the together time that wasn’t dominated by talk about deadlines and fire drills.

3 – Be vulnerable. 
We are all humans, reacting to horrible acts against other humans, and it’s natural that this would affect you too. It’s ok to share how you are feeling with your team. Use words that feel honest for you: if you are frustrated, angry, sad, fearful, that’s ok. Say it out loud.

People on your team may also benefit from sharing coping mechanisms. How do you put bad news behind you and get the work done? Recognize that everyone is different and has different ways to cope, but can be inspired by what works for other people. Opening up and having that conversation can go a long way to helping others.

A final thought:

Explain why our widget matters.

As you are talking to your team, hold space by letting them share and feel safe in contributing your own thoughts and feelings. Then, try to bring them back together and up and out of that space. Transition to something positive or at least lighter. And then, tell them what they mean to you and to the organization and that you appreciate their showing up as well as their sharing. Perhaps also remind them of why the widget your company makes matters (whatever your business is), the people you are serving, the problem you are solving, the hill that you are striving to climb as a team. This can help people refocus and move on with their day.

Also, keep your proverbial door open.

As you start the new work week, I hope this is useful to you.

Considering this is my own safe space to share my thoughts with you, I’ll be honest, I was deeply troubled by what I saw of Alex’ murder. I can only call it that as, from everything that I’ve seen, he was over-powered and then someone pulled out a gun and shot him repeatedly. It felt like I was witnessing an execution. And that’s on top of the cruelty shown to 5-year old Liam, and all the peaceful protesters and people being detained seemingly on a whim. The lack of training is evident. This isn’t a video game but it appears that these agents are acting out a first person shooter game.

I lost sleep on Saturday night as I put a prayer out to the universe for love and light for all those that are struggling right now. It’s a mighty large group of people and I could feel the heft of it all. And it was in that time of reflection that I realized what was coming with this week ahead and that a few thoughts might help someone.

Please let me know how you are doing. Comment or email me: [email protected]

And please, share this with someone you know who could use this right now.

With much love,

Rob

PS – if you have experienced a micro-manager with or without empathy, I’d love to hear from you – [email protected]