👋 Hi friends!

Lots to cover this week. Please take a moment to click on 1440 Media’s ad up above. There’s no obligation to buy but the more clicks I get on the ad, the more it helps this “new revenue stream” as my friend Elizabeth recently called it. No obligation to do anything but you may find the “just the facts” approach refreshing in this opinion-heavy news world.

(the video version, complete with my congested voice thanks to a slight head cold)

This year's United Nations theme is "Rights. Justice. Action. For ALL Women and Girls." And while the world has a long way to go on that front, today I want to pause and acknowledge something a little more personal.

Looking back at my early career, I was shaped almost entirely by women.

Nancy, Kathy, Nati, and Candy were four of my earliest managers, in office jobs I had in high school and college. Each of them, in her own way, taught me the same essential lesson: take the work seriously, but don't take it all so seriously. That balance, between caring deeply and not losing yourself in the process, turns out to be one of the most useful things anyone ever taught me about working with other people.

It showed up later in London, at CNN, when a producer named Helen told a colleague that I was good to work with because I "didn't get my knickers in a twist." Coming from a seasoned news producer, that felt like the highest possible praise.

These women modeled empathy in action long before I had a name for it.

So, here is my question for you today: who are the women who shaped how you work, lead, or show up for others? I would love to hear a name and one thing they gave you. Hit reply and tell me.

And if you have daughters, nieces, students, or young women in your orbit today, tell them about someone who shaped you. Pass it forward this International Women’s Day!

A few weeks ago I saw a post from my friend Minette Norman featuring an awesome hat that said “Radicalized by Basic Human Decency.”  Maria Ross and I instantly responded “where did you get that?”

It was produced by Sharon McMahon. Maria and I each ordered one and we put this photo collage together.

It also got us thinking. When did treating people with basic human decency become a radical act?

Here is a small challenge for this week. Next time you are out shopping or with any service provider, ask them how their day is going. Then ask one follow-up question.

Try it with a colleague you do not know well. Get curious about the answer.

That is it. That is the whole ask. 🙏🏽

Seeing and hearing the people in front of us, regardless of race, gender, political affiliation, class, or any of the other ways we get divided into us and them, is not radical. It is just human. And it is where empathy starts.

If that makes us radicals, we are good with it. 

As the current war in Iran began, I found myself turning once again to the news, hunting for the latest developments.  Nearly every day this has happened. After 10 minutes, I would realize there’s no breaking development that I don’t already know about, yet the stress that I feel building up inside me isn’t doing me any good.  Time to turn it off and put the phone away.

Hi, my name is Rob, and I’m a news addict.

Since I was a kid, I’ve always tried to stay informed of current events.  The morning newspaper was fodder for breakfast conversation. I studied journalism at Syracuse’s Newhouse School and was a news reporter for one of the local student-run stations, including during the aftermath of the bombing of Pan Am 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland. There I was, a journalism student reporting on a terror attack that involved my own school. It was my first experience with news-as-trauma. (I wrote about it in more detail in Tell Me More About That if you want the full story.)

A year later, I interned at CNN’s London bureau during college (which set the stage for one of my biggest regrets and missed opportunities – a story for another time), and today, some of my friends work in local and national news. Even my career in marketing research I think of as part journalism part consultant/advisor since I was going out to uncover how people think, feel and behave and report back to my clients about it and what they should do as a result.

It’s like the news is in my blood. I want to stay up to date and stay informed.

But even the most serious news addict has limits. Living in NYC during 9/11, I ended up an eyewitness to more than I was comfortable with. When it’s happening live in front of you, you can’t turn it off. In my search for knowledge about why this happened, who did this and what were we going to do about it in the weeks that followed, rewatching that morning’s events felt like living it all over again.

Twenty-five years later, I find I’m less able to engage with current events the way I used to. It turns out there is a name for what I’m experiencing.  The cumulative effect of watching traumatic events in the media (social, traditional or otherwise) and in particular watching the news can heighten the impact of a trauma event, according to landmark research led by E. Alison Holman at UC-Irvine.

This is recognized as Secondary Traumatic Stress and it’s in the DSM-5 as a contributor to PTSD.  I’m guessing I’m not the only one who’s experiencing this as the research shows.

I probably first started feeling STS in 2017. The first Trump administration was in power and I started to feel the information overload and had to make some changes to protect my nervous system.

Like many, I kept finding I would get distracted with the “what now?” thoughts at every (unbelievable to me) news alert that year, which led me into a stress spiral searching for more and more crumbs of information.

If knowledge is power, then staying informed meant staying in control. And if I was in control, everything would be ok. Right?

This thirst for facts definitely got in the way of my work productivity and also being able to keep feelings of anxiety under control.

I had to toggle the news notifications on my devices to “off”.   But I didn’t cut the cord. I kept my subscriptions and dedicated time to reading multiple news outlets and watching the news on TV until I couldn’t take it anymore.  Soon even the TV had to be limited to 30 minutes of World News.

‘Stay informed without becoming overwhelmed’ has been my mantra.

It has helped me through the pandemic, January 6, California wildfires and many other breaking news crises.  (Although if I see that “breaking news” banner on CNN one more time… If everything is breaking news, is anything really breaking news?)

Here’s what I’m realizing…

No matter where you score on the Highly Sensitive Person self-assessment test, repeated exposure to harrowing news builds up like a toxin in your nervous system.

The coping skills I suggested recently, notably, to “Think Colander” and keep only the information you really need while letting the excess energy wash away, are even more useful in these times of crisis as well as every day.

I know I’ve been repeating “Think Colander” to myself this past week.

Here’s the link to that edition in case you missed it the first time.

I also realize that I’ve written about other aspects of this that may be useful. We all play different roles in our lives. For when you are a leader, of a team, an organization or a household, you may find these tips useful in helping your people navigate. It’s inevitable that some people bring the news into work or around the dinner table. Helping them navigate and making space for that is a sign of a good 21^st-century leader.

And for those struggling with where to direct their empathy when a conflict involves complicated history and no clear heroes, this piece I wrote after the October 7, 2023 attacks by Hamas on Israel may help.

I’ve been working on this newsletter for several hours now. As I’ve gained momentum in the researching, thinking and writing, I’m spending less time on my phone looking for those kernels of news.  I think that’s progress. 

Please let me know how it’s going for you and share this with anyone who might need it today. Email me: [email protected]

At a recent talk I gave to the Alumni Learning Consortium, an audience member asked a question that has stayed with me ever since. After my presentation on using empathy to build better workplace culture, they typed into the chat: do micro-managers actually have empathy with the people they manage?

I promised I would look into it. And I have.

I’ve been fortunate in my career where I don’t think I’ve been micro-managed often. I can think of my first job in PR where my manager, Andrew, would hand back my drafts of press releases and pitches to journalists filled with red ink.  I would bristle at times, feeling like I was back in high school getting a paper handed back covered in corrections. But I never really felt like I was being micro-managed as it was all in service of strengthening my writing and pitching skills. Two lessons from Andrew I still practice to this day: 1) never use the word unique, because nothing is truly unique, and 2) there are many words in English so don’t repeat the same words in adjacent paragraphs.

I can think of another manager of mine at a big multi-national company who was probably “in my shorts” more than I wanted however we got along well and I was, again, learning as I went so it didn’t feel like being micro-managed. Looking back, I think what made the difference in both cases was intent. I could feel they were invested in me and my growth, not just the outcome of the assignment.

Before we dive into the research, I want to pause and ask you something. Is it possible that you recognize some of these tendencies in yourself? If so, stay with me. There is something useful here for you too.

When I went looking for research on micro-management and empathy specifically, I found something telling: nobody has studied that exact question. A 2025 systematic review of 94 micromanagement papers found that while the field has grown considerably, micromanagement still lacks a clear formal definition and a validated measurement scale. Researchers are actively working to distinguish it from related but different behaviors like abusive supervision, which is defined as sustained hostile verbal and nonverbal behavior toward employees. Micro-management and bullying can overlap, but they are not the same thing, and the research treats them separately.

What the research does tell us is revealing. Studies from researchers at UC Riverside, Stanford, and George Washington University found that micro-managers are typically not people who feel powerful. They are people who feel powerless despite holding a position of authority. Their grip on every small decision is not a sign of confidence. It is a sign of anxiety. They consolidate control because letting go feels genuinely dangerous to them.

Here is my take on what that means for empathy. I do not believe micro-managers are generally people who lack the capacity for empathy. They are human beings, which means they were born with it. But in the stressed and insecure state that drives micro-managing behavior, their empathy is misdirected. It flows inward, toward their own fear of failure, rather than outward, toward the person sitting across from them. They over-empathize with their own anxiety and under-empathize with their employee's experience of being watched, second-guessed, and not trusted. The impact on the employee does not match the manager's intent, and that gap is a classic empathy failure.

A comprehensive 2024 analysis confirmed that 91% of micro-managers are unaware that employees actually resign because of them. That number points to a profound absence of perspective-taking. Not cruelty. Blindness.

1) Try having empathy with the manager.

This is not about excusing behavior that is hurting you. It is about understanding what is driving it, because that understanding gives you options. If your manager's micro-managing is rooted in insecurity, consider what you might do to reduce that insecurity. Proactively share updates before they ask. Be transparent about your process and progress. Over-communication, done on your terms, can sometimes ease the anxiety that is fueling the over-control. You are not doing this for them. You are doing it to give yourself more room to work.

2) Ask them to see it from your perspective.

This takes some courage, but it is worth trying. Request a conversation and frame it around your shared goal of doing good work. Something like: "I want to do my best work for you and for the team. Can I share how I work best, and hear what you need from me, so we can figure out how to get there together?" You are not accusing. You are inviting them to use their own empathy. The research on abusive supervision notes that employees who speak up constructively can sometimes shift the dynamic, particularly when the behavior stems from insecurity rather than intent to harm. I leaned into this during the transition period of Ignite 360’s sale to Dig Insights. Suddenly I had managers and we needed to find ways of working together successfully. During updates, I would provide context to my work style and what has succeeded in the past and, just as importantly, remain open to the new agency’s process and style.

3) Build your own psychological safety net.

Document your work clearly. Keep records of decisions and their outcomes. Find allies inside the organization who can see your contributions. This is not paranoia. It is protecting yourself so that the micro-managing does not become the only story being told about you. And if the situation is not improving, give yourself permission to honestly assess whether this is a temporary pattern or a permanent one. The data is clear that long-term micro-management leads to burnout, reduced creativity, and high turnover. You are not immune to those effects just because you understand what is driving the behavior.

If any of this is landing a little close to home, you might be wondering whether you have some micro-managing tendencies yourself. Psychology Today has a free self-assessment that takes just a few minutes and might give you some useful perspective: take it here.

I scored a 24 out of 100, which apparently means I have a little micromanaging tendency. Though I suspect the people who worked for me over the years might have some notes. 😉

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