Hello! Lots to cover and an anniversary to celebrate, let’s dive in.

You’ll notice another ad up above, this time for Morning Brew, which I’m subscribed to. It provides digestible business news with less editorializing. Sometimes reading news that’s not as politicized can give our nervous system a break, as we explored last time.

I get a little money for every click, no obligation to subscribe although it’s free. I’d be grateful for the clicks. This support helps offset the cost of producing this newsletter and keeping it free.

And it’s the 4^th anniversary (2/22/22) of the publication of the book!  More on that below but a request up front to please help spread the word – buy a copy for a Little Library or a friend, forward this URL www.robvolpe.expert/books for more information.

I continue to hear inspiring stories of people who have changed relationships with others using the stories in the book. Let’s keep that going! 

The video version of this newsletter…

Empathy Week is a global event that has been growing with each successive year. The goal is to help students develop the skills and understanding to use empathy in their lives. This year’s event is March 9-13. It’s not too late to a) sign up if you are an educator, or b) to share with educators and PTA members in your life.

Forward this newsletter and/or ask them to visit www.empathyweek.org

And over on You Tube, visit their channel EMPATHY STUDIOS

Did  you see Alyssa Liu’s gold medal winning free-skate?  In 2022, at 16-years old, Liu retired after the Winter Olympics and went on a journey to figure herself out. Through that journey she was able to put competitive skating in perspective, identifying what brought her joy about the sport. That fueled her return in 2024 which culminated in this week’s gold medal.

If you watch the performance and listen to the commentary – it’s remarkable how free she seems and it elevates her performance.

While I would have given her a medal just for her music selection of MacArthur Park by Donna Summer, she came across to me, and other observers, as an artist performing on a stage who happened to be getting judged.

I think that shift in attitude, the perspective she was able to get during her “retirement” journey, let her look at this in a whole new way.

By comparison, Ilia Malinin, the “Quad God” fell from the heavens in the individual competition, finishing 8^th after being heavily favored to win.

Malinin, in his debut Olympics, did come through during the Team Skate competition where Team USA did win gold, so he didn’t go home empty handed but the glory for this god was surely tied up in the Men’s individual gold.

In interviews, even during the Team Skate where his short program was wobbly, he acknowledged the incredible pressure of performing on the biggest stage. Over the course of that week, it got to him and he ended up with a result that did not live up to the great expectations placed on him.

That’s the lesson to me from this. Find the joy in your work and be in that headspace. It truly changes your perspective and can give you the confidence to lean into your performance.

I think about the times in my youth when I choked during a swim meet or psyched myself out in a work task.   Instead of trusting in my abilities, knowing my content at work or feeling confident in my own ability to move forcefully through the water, I let voices of doubt and pressure to succeed get in the way. As a result, I turned in an underwhelming performance.

Today, I still feel the nerves before I’m about to speak before an audience. What’s different is that I not only have command of my content so I can handle more curveballs than I used to, I have found joy in seeing people’s eyes light up when they get one of the concepts I’m sharing. That interaction fuels my performance and the confidence in knowing my material gives me the leeway to get more creative, try new things, take some risks.

Age and experience has certainly given me perspective, however if you are aware of it, then you can start to work on it.

When you focus on the pressure, it causes the pressure to intensify.

If you focus on what matters, giving a performance the audience will love, that’s worthy of gold.

Toxic empathy has been a growing topic of conversation. I wrote about it last summer and recently returned to Good Things Utah for a segment about it.

(Sidebar: It was so great to return to the show after a year off. I got to be on set with all 3 hosts and it felt like going home, they were so welcoming and happy to see me. Please give it a watch if you haven’t already.)

And recently, David French at The New York Times more directly took to task the religious right who have weaponized empathy in the name of Christianity. He points out, correctly, that empathy is at the basis of the teachings of Christ and so it’s hypocritical of people to be selective in who they have empathy with.

As I shared on Bluesky, in order to gain access to power and wealth (see the 7 Deadly Sins), they have sold their souls to their own devil.

Please don’t ever believe anyone who tells you empathy is toxic or is something we shouldn’t embrace. It’s a feature of being human, not a flaw or bug to be fixed.

Moving on to all things books, I recently finished The Inherited Mind by James Longman, ABC News’ Chief International Correspondent.

Longman chronicles the mental illness that has plagued members of his family and taken the life of several, including his father, who died by suicide when James was 9 years old. In the book he takes us inside his personal journey, his memories of his father and his own struggles with depression and the ultimate question of the book: is this something inherited and am I consigned to the same fate?

As you’d expect from a journalist, there is reporting on the studies of the neuroscience which confirms that there are hereditary links although it seems that there’s more research to be done in order to help find improved treatments and cures.

I’m a storyteller and wanna-be journalist at heart, so any book that goes even remotely behind the scenes of network news has my attention. The Inherited Mind doesn’t fail to deliver on this account as Longman takes us on assignment with him to Syria and other destinations. 

The personal stories resonated with me and is what I enjoyed most in the book. Losing his father at a young age and living full time with his mom after his parents separation, his father was something of an enigma. This book is a look at piecing together who his father was as a person and exploring what they have in common beyond a striking physical resemblance.

Longman shares the heartbreaking, raw emotions he felt after his father’s death, the drama of having a challenging relationship with his mother, and the touching engagements he had with his father’s caretakers and nurses as well as close friends from his dad’s young adulthood when his mental health crisis was first revealing itself. 

Considering how much I struggled with Intro to BioPsychology while at Syracuse, having to take the class twice and still only mustering a C grade, the pages that look into the studies were harder for me to digest. Fortunately, it’s balanced with the majority of the pages, in my perception, focused on the human stories and so I never felt like giving up.

And a surprise for me at the very end, reading the acknowledgments of the book, I found that the person who gave James his first job in journalism, John Jelley, is a friend of ours from his time living in San Francisco more than ten years ago.  That prompted me to reach out on Facebook and John and I are now back in touch after a way too long hiatus. Small world!

The Inherited Mind is worth a look, particularly if mental illness runs in your family or you have a natural interest in the topic. Fans of ABC News should check it out too. :)

It’s a challenge with many recipes that make enough to feed 4-6 to either down-size them or deal with leftovers for the week.  Fortunately, a new cookbook Around Our Table for Two, tackles this problem. I’ve known the author, Pam Werley, since about 2008 as she used to work in marketing and insights and was a client. Several years ago, on becoming an empty-nester, she realized there was a need for good recipes that don’t waste food, taste great and, where possible, utilize local and fresh ingredients.

She started the Our Table 4 2 website and is building a community on Substack. She also has a weekly newsletter with recipes and video tutorials.  This cookbook is her latest and I’ve just begun to cook from it.

I can report that the Fudgy Brownies recipe is as promised. OMG good. That’s no “Moldy Pancake” Midwest nicety. It’s all chocolate and would be amazing with vanilla ice cream to cut the sweetness. (It did take a lot longer to bake than the directions indicated so, as always, keep your oven and cooktop predilections in mind.)

Next up, I was inspired by Pam’s Croque Monsieur recipe so I’m adding eggs to the top of it for Croque Madame for tonight’s dinner!

February 22 marks the anniversary of the publication of Tell Me More About That: Solving the Empathy Crisis One Conversation at a Time.

Where has the time gone?

My publisher, Jesse Finkelstein at Page Two, told me when we started working together that my book would have a ‘long tail’ – meaning it would remain relevant and applicable to audiences for years to come.

I’ve found her words to be true.

I recently was on the podcast Over a Pint Marketing Podcast with Pat McGovern.

What was so fun about this interview was that he read the book cover to cover and so we had a genuine conversation about the content, including some of the people in the book where I had to work to build empathy or one of the 5 Steps was identified.  Please give it a listen on the usual podcast platforms or directly on the show website.

It’s been fascinating to hear which stories and “characters” resonate with readers and why. I’d love to hear from you, if you’ve read the book, which stories have stuck with you and what you took away from it. 

Please comment below or email me: [email protected].

I’ll do some follow-up about your favorites and some of the ‘story behind the story’ in an upcoming issue.

In my long recovery from the slip and fall break of my kneecap, I started to get back on the Peloton bike to help strengthen the muscles in my legs and get a little cardio going.  It’s been a challenging year and while I’m nowhere back to normal, I’m making steady progress.

On Peloton, milestones like rides that cross 100s and birthdays are sometimes recognized by the instructors if you are on a live ride. I paused my cycling at 898 rides back in April and when I returned to actual workouts, I chose to do my 900^th ride with my favorite instructor, Christine D’Ercole.  It was a 45-minute ride back on November 15, which meant more time for shout outs during the recovery periods.

I had my hopes up that I’d get a little recognition for a little extra boost of emotional energy to keep going in my recovery.

We were down to the last 6 minutes of class. Nothing yet. And then, this happened (please watch this short video…)

She not only acknowledged my ride but she suggested people go find my book!

When it happened, I nearly fell over I was so surprised and delighted. 

What a gift!

Of course, I didn’t have my phone recording the class so two days later, I did the entire ride all over again so I could record it for posterity.

And now, on the anniversary of the book publication, I thought it was a good time to share it.

I sent Christine a copy of my book shortly after publication. She had acknowledged receipt but I had no idea she had read it, let alone liked it!  That’s what led to the surprise on this ride. It was like a seed planted years ago breaking through the ground.

Her work, aside from being an instructor and world-class competitive cyclist (she has more than a dozen medals), she leads WordShops that help people change their self-talk to more positive messages. Her mantra, I Am, I Can, I Will, I Do, is simple yet powerful.  I hope you check out her website or her Instagram @iamicaniwillido. She’s also sharing her journey with menopause to help women talk more openly about that mid-life experience.

If you know someone who would enjoy or benefit from reading my book, please send them this link www.robvolpe.expert/books or maybe buy a copy for them if you are in the position to do so?  Together we can plant more seeds with our own communities so it grows and makes a difference in the world. I just need your help in doing that.

Here’s to the next four years!

Thank you!

Visit My Website or email me: [email protected]