Empathy is a driver of loyalty. It can drive loyalty to people, places, teams, brands, companies, employers—you name it.

But a lack of empathy drives people away.

Businessolver’s annual State of Workplace Empathy report was just released, and the latest results make clear that when bosses act without empathy, they lose the loyalty of their employees.

Employees’ perception of their CEOs’ empathy level dropped 10 points from 2022, to the lowest levels it has been. Half think their companies’ approach to empathy needs to change. And their HR representatives agree.

But the CEOs do not, marking themselves as more empathetic than before COVID-19.

Is this some delusional thinking on the part of the CEOs? Last year’s study found that 79% of CEOs struggle to be empathetic themselves and nearly as many were worried about losing respect if they showed empathy.

What gives? They couldn’t have all read my book in the past year, could they? 🙂 Perhaps CEOs are realizing that the “right answer” is to say that they are empathetic. If you say it enough, it must make it true, right?

But in the last year we’ve seen layoffs communicated via email and Return to Office (“RTO”) policies that are less flexible than originally promised as people scattered during the pandemic.

This is some magical thinking! And employees and even HR representatives are calling BS.

These CEO delusions of empathy are going to damage the companies they are there to guide.

Per Businessolver this year, 67% of employees are willing to work longer hours for more empathetic employers, and 47% are willing to take less pay to do so.

Imagine that: employees willing to work more for less pay. All you have to do is put empathy into practice.

Sounds like a no-brainer. But it won’t come true if the delusions continue.

The takeaway here is clear: We all win when we’re practicing empathy.

Ready to learn more?

In what might be considered “divine timing,” I recently spoke with Brother Gregory Cellini for the Thank God for Monday podcast on just this subject! It airs Saturday, May 27 at 8:30am EST on WSOU (89.5 FM) and will be available next week at the link below.

Thank you so much for having me on the show, Brother Gregory!

Let me know if you would like help bringing more empathy to your organization—it’s as easy as replying to this email.

And click the link below to tune in!

Q&A: I recently got promoted to a managerial position. Do you have any advice on bringing empathy to my management style from the outset?

First, congratulations! I remember when I first got promoted to a manager. I just got thrown into it and had to figure things out. I definitely made some mistakes, but I learned and grew along the way. I’d suggest you start with an activity I use in my empathetic leadership training sessions. Ask yourself who you have looked up to in business. Then make note of what they did that earned that. Many people identify a manager or mentor early in their career who took the time to listen, see things from their POV and cared about them and their happiness.

That is pretty much the secret as you get started. Listen. Meet them where they are at. Support them when they need it.

This support can take many different forms, from encouraging them to take sick days, to setting them up for success, to considering their perspectives when crafting return-to-work policies (something the State of Workplace Empathy report made clear is lacking and sorely needed).

When you make decisions, really consider how you’re balancing their needs with those of the company. Empathy with your employees is another data point that you bring into the decision making.

And when you can’t meet their requests or needs—and there will be plenty of times when you can’t—listen to them. Try to compromise. Show them you care by using the language that reflects that you heard them and understand where they are coming from. It’ll go a long way. Everyone likes to feel heard.

When in doubt, think about a time when you’ve been managed with empathy. What did that look like? Good luck in these first weeks and months and let me know what’s working and not working. I’m always looking for new examples of effective, empathetic leadership.

Food for Thought: Lead Your Meetings With Empathy

How many times have you said to yourself, “This meeting could have been an email”?

Meetings that go on too long, are aimless and agendaless, or don’t end with any sort of decision being made have been around forever, but it feels like remote work has compounded the problem.

The fix isn’t for meetings to be conducted with better time management—it’s to center empathy in meeting planning.

We just launched a new suite of training courses at Ignite 360’s: The Ignition Engine, designed to help you bring empathy to all facets of the workplace. Learn how to successfully launch projects—hint: focus your scoping on people—how to maximize your conversation ROI, and how to start leading meetings no one will want to miss.

I’ll give you a little sneak peak on that last one: the trick is to set empathy-forward agendas—after deciding whether you should have the meeting at all. When you consider your meeting attendees from the outset, it will make people feel respected. And when they feel respected? They’re engaged.

I’m excited to share the team’s knowledge to help you bring a little empathy back to work, and would love to hear how you’re putting it into practice. Click the link below to take the “How to Design a Meeting No One Will Want to Miss” course, and send me a message with how you’re trying our tips out!

Did you catch Rob on Your Partner in Success Radio?

Many people seem to consider empathy to be a weakness. Take Elon Musk, who projects himself as a macho man. He is not demonstrating empathetic leadership—and yet he’s still idolized.

This old school way of showing up in the world is normalized when we fail to see the superpower empathy can be.

Denise Griffitts, it was a joy talking to you on Your Partner In Success Radio earlier this month. If you missed it, click the link below to have a listen to our conversation on the true strength that comes from being empathetic and how to foster it in the workplace.

Shape up your empathy muscle!

Reading Between the Lines is a newsletter designed to deliver of-the-moment insights into human behavior and empathy, drawn from the world of marketing research; practical and tactical tips on using the skill of empathy in everyday life; and exclusive updates to keep my community close on a biweekly basis.

I hope you enjoyed this issue. If you know of others that would be interested, I’d appreciate you forwarding this email to them—or inviting them to sign up at the button below. Thank you!

– Rob